Let's work together to keep the conversation civil. It may have been beautiful once, filled with specs of flowers and love and trust and all things beautiful. Every relationship is constructed in different ways and people fall in love for various reasons. Some fall in love at the first sight while others gradually take their time to know their respective partners. Most couples face the same problems in their relationships and often when they are unable to figure out themselves, partners leave hastily afraid to get any more hurt.
Every relationship has its highs and lows. We have listed down 6 reasons why most couples break off their relationships and how, you can avoid these as well. Just pay attention to the signs in your relationship. Sometimes we take the people we love, for granted. This feeling can be terrifying to the other person and it almost leaves them wondering if they were ever enough for you.
Such feelings arise when we fail to allot time to our loved one and spend every minute spare, making memories. A single rose or a dessert of their choice can work wonders to replenish your relationship. Friendship builds a relationship. There maybe was a strong passion in your relationship in the beginning, but with time, it slowly wears out. Not all steamy sessions are lost, but the connection takes its place.
However, when you no longer feel the connection between both of you anymore, it poses a threat to your bond. They become wary of the fact that their relationship maybe is the only thing that defines them now.
Passion, hobbies, relationships with other people are equally important to go on in life. Both of you must maintain a balance and prioritise a healthy independent lifestyle chasing their friends, interests and passions.
Where there are signs of insecurity, negative thoughts can creep into a relationship very easily. Studies show that for every negative thought, there have to be 5 positive thoughts to tackle the situation. Since negativity is a strong feeling, it can deplete any trust and love in the relationship—resulting in silent treatment, disagreements, fights, tears and emotional indifference. Trying to appreciate their little things, encouraging them can bring back positive energy in your relationship.
Further criticism and judgement can only fuel the despair and pessimism between you two. Doing the same things you both have done can be a comfortable thought, but settling for the same things can bring rising boredom amidst your bond. Partners also monitor each other and encourage healthy behaviour - reminding each other to take their daily tablets, for example, and checking they don't drink too much.
Whatever the science behind "broken heart syndrome", the results are bitter-sweet. There is, of course, the grief of a bereaved family who have lost two people they love. But there is also often a relief that a couple deeply in love should have exited life together.
Edmund Williams' poem for his wife Margaret talked about "two lovers entwined" and a journey "to the end of time's end". If there is a benevolent heart condition, surely takotsubo cardiomyopathy is the one - but "dying of a broken heart" puts it better.
An earlier version of this feature appeared in August Additional reporting by Tammy Thueringer. Image source, other. Edmund and Margaret Williams died a week apart, after 60 years of marriage. It looks like a pattern, and perhaps it is. Image source, SPL. She was born in and her first 14 months of life were spent in an orphanage in China.
I am well acquainted with the vast body of research that shows the physical and psychological harms of deprived environments.
Orphanages can arguably be placed under this category along with other places such as refugee camps and some hospitals where children lack close contact and attention. Deprivation comes in many shapes and forms: lack of food, diseases, maltreatment, and child abuse are some of the harms that come to mind.
However, I would argue that deprivation of love can be just as deadly. Most of these deaths were not due to starvation or disease, but to severe emotional and sensorial deprivation — in other words, a lack of love. These babies were fed and medically treated, but they were absolutely deprived of important stimulation, especially touch and affection.
Human touch is fundamental for human development and survival. Research conducted by Ruth Feldman and Tiffany Field has shown the positive effects that come from skin-to-skin touch in premature babies and that these effects are still at work after ten years. Significant gains in neurological development, weight gain, and mental development of premature babies have been shown to be triggered by skin-to-skin stimulation. Even, grandmaternal love similarly involves different regions of the prefrontal cortex, as maternal and romantic love Kida et al.
It is important that the scientific community accepts and spreads the fact that love is not an emotion, although it can definitely be accompanied by intense emotions. In fact, in human evolution love promoted the capacity to experience the most intense emotional states, firstly in women in the mother-child relationships, and later in men in sexual relationships.
This evolutionary viewpoint would underlie some detected adaptive sex differences in romantic attachment with respect to some personality dimensions, such as anxiety and avoidance Del Giudice, The vast majority of laboratories and love researchers already assume its motivational component Fisher et al.
Here it is proposed that maternal love and romantic love are the same motivation created by natural selection in the line of human evolution. It is responsible for the evolution of our species Burunat, b ; Fletcher et al.
In the first months of life, discontinuation of breastfeeding causes hunger and thirst, indistinguishable by the baby. After that period, abstinence from nutrients causes hunger, abstinence from water causes thirst, and the abstinence from sleep generates somnolence and sleep.
After puberty but not before, abstinence from sex increases sexual drive. When love arises, at any age, serious and extreme symptoms follow the sentimental breakup culminating in a genuine syndrome of withdrawal from love. Physiological motivations are reinforced by the unpleasant consequences of withdrawal.
It might be that the distinction between jealous love and morbid jealousy was not so precise in many cases: Love is jealous when it is devoured by the desire for the exclusive and total possession of the partner, whose unconditional and continued presence is avidly requested Maggini et al.
Among the signs of love identified by Buss is the display of distress even in short separations in Ackerman et al.
In the same way as in addiction to opiates, cocaine and other drugs, the pleasure associated with love, when interrupted, may cause a withdrawal syndrome. LWS shares features with depression and with the obsessive compulsive disorder but is characterized as a withdrawal syndrome because it is associated specifically with the lack of a particular person, more than with the lack of a sexual partner. Sex and love are distinct physiological motivations, although the current misperception of love as a simple emotion associated with sexual interest has contributed to their confusion.
In stereotyped behaviors, the persistence of behaviours and emotions seems to depend on the prefrontal cortex maturation and its functional circuits Zhou et al.
All of these are also involved, among other areas, in obsessive compulsive disorder; examples include greater distant connectivity in the orbitofrontal cortex and basal ganglia Beucke et al. These areas are also involved in love, wherein data exists on specific brain configurations in the union of long-lasting couples that support the indelible aspect of love Acevedo et al.
Frascella et al. Similarly, Schneiderman et al. Indeed, the overlap of classic reward brain areas involved in sexual arousal, love and attachment is complete ventral tegmental area, accumbens, amygdala, ventral pallidum, orbitofrontal cortex in Love et al. From these and other findings, it has been previously proposed Burunat, , b that all types of addictions including newer addictions to the smartphones Kwon et al.
Indeed, intense, passionate, romantic love can be understood as a natural addiction Fisher et al. The present article sets out to briefly justify love as a physiological drive, and it also outlines the motives for its cultural misinterpretation as merely an emotion. It is further suggested that this misinterpretation can cause many deaths and suffering, including divorces, suicides and the murder of women by their partners or former partners.
Indeed, it may be that the lack of love, and sentimental breakups, may be the ultimate cause of many horrendous crimes, perhaps wrongly attributed to other reasons such as terrorism.
The lack of love is a major cause of mortality, as previously summarized. The research in many laboratories and research centers around the world clearly shows that love maternal and romantic love being different forms of the same love is a physiological motivation like hunger, thirst, sleep or sex and not an emotion or feeling with which love is usually confused.
It is surely because of emotion, motivation, reinforcement and arousal that these closely related topics often appear together in proposals about emotion Le Doux, But in any case, love itself is not an emotion Ekman, ; Fisher, Physiological motivations are essential for survival, just as love is essential for survival at the early stages of human life. Subsequently, love is also necessary for brain homeostasis, with consequences for the survival at all ages, given that adult pair bonds and attachment bonds between parents and infants Kringelbach et al.
So, the survival of babies and survival throughout the whole infancy and childhood would not be possible without the deployment of love in all human species along the last one million years Burunat, a, b, This article also explains the cause and present confusion between love and sexuality and suggests that the misconception of love as being an emotion has extremely serious consequences.
These consequences range from frequent relationship break downs, divorces, which are wrongly attributed to a so-called love expiry date, to the suicide and to the murder of women by their partners and ex-partners femicide , wrongly attributed to educational and cultural factors, when in truth the main cause is the erroneous social interpretation of love as being only an emotion. These deadly consequences can only be gradually corrected by a clear position in the scientific community to acknowledge that love is a physiological motivation such as hunger, thirst, sleep and sex drive.
The acceptance of this proposal must entail profound educational, cultural and social changes. Most importantly, it must entail the consideration of sentimental separations and divorces as a priority for attention of National Health systems in order to detect potentially dangerous situations for those involved, especially for women. Dedicated to Beatriz S. The author thanks Mrs.
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